How I Felt About My Voice During 4 Labours - a Summary
Here is a brief summary of how I felt about my voice during my four labours. I strongly believe that if I had known that using my voice would have helped me focus, relax, open up and relieve pain, I would have consciously chosen to use it from the first labour. I would have also felt more positive about any sounds I made rather than falling into shame. Anyway, we live and learn! Now, because of my experiences I enjoy preparing pregnant women to use their voice with confidence, even before the birth, so they can reap all of the benefits (connection, pain relief, power, energy, relaxation, stamina, release of birth hormones) and not let “voice shame” get in the way.
Labour 1:
Where: home
Length: 26 hours.
People present: husband, Mum, friend, midwife
Pain relief tools: hot water bottle, birth pool
I was quiet as a mouse and very VERY self conscious about making any sounds. I didn’t want people watching or listening to me. I noticed a lot of shame around making any sounds. My Mum whispered in my ear near the end, “It’s OK to make sounds you know …”. I let go more after that. Sometimes we all we need is permission and a gentle reminder. When pushing I screamed a lot due to fear. After the birth I was more shocked about all the screaming … I couldn’t believe I made so much noise. Shame overwhelmed me even though no one was judging me. I judged myself. I was also shocked at how primal the whole experience was.
Labour 2:
Where: home
Length: 16 hours.
People present: husband, Mum, friend, midwife, 2 year old daughter
Pain relief tools: hot water bottle, birth pool, music, shower, voice
I once again felt uncomfortable about making sounds for most of the labour. I listened to background music most of the time, but it wasn’t anywhere near as powerful as when I went into the shower near the end and started vocalising. Soon after, my waters broke and my second daughter was born. I remember feeling embarrassed about how loud I was in the shower, wondering what everyone thought … but I also secretly enjoyed it!
Labour 3:
Where: home
Length: 9 hours.
People present: husband, Mum, friend, midwife, 4 and 6 year old daughters
Pain relief tools: hot water bottle, birth pool, crystal singing bowl, voice
Once again I found myself in labour in front of my family and midwife feeling rather self-conscious about being half naked and making strange sounds. This time though, during a contraction, my Mum started to play the crystal singing bowl that happened to be sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I immediately felt safe enough to vocalise louder … I made Ahh and Ooo and Eee sounds … I also harmonised with the bowl! I felt like I was being cocooned by the sound which gave me permission to really let go. For the first time I noticed how the use of my voice as well as the resonant sound of that bowl helped me stay focused, strong, as well as relatively pain-free! I needed the bowl during every contraction after that. This was the birth of “SoundBirth”. I knew I needed to share this tool with the world!
Labour 4:
Where: home
Length: 44 hours.
People present: husband, Mum, midwife, back-up midwife, 10, 7 and 3 year old daughters.
Pain relief tools: hot water bottle, crystal singing bowl, voice
This time I felt confident about using my voice with a bowl. I was the “SoundBirth lady” after all! Everyone in my family seemed to have a go at playing the bowl in time with my contractions. I was in labour inside and outside sometimes in the Bedfordale bush backyard. Restless as a cat. But a lot more confident about using my voice. It wasn’t an issue anymore. I had been a Mother for 10 years already and could handle anything now it seemed. The problem this time was that I was exhausted after 40 hours of labour. The resonant, intense sound of the bowl bought out the biggest sounds I have ever made which tapped right into my own inner strength, giving me the energy I needed to birth my last baby into the world.
I would love to know your voice story! Here is a survey I put together so I can find out more about how YOU felt about your voice before, during and after the birth.
This information will help me help other mums too. So thank you!!
