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I recently bought a new CD for my Birthday present to me…I listened to a few of the songs and wondered if it was worth spending that $32. I didn’t FEEL anything.
I realised that this isn’t anything new. It has always taken time for a new piece of music to “grow on me”. Why is this? Well, I believe that we create a relationship with music just as we do with people. When you meet someone for the very first time you look, listen, feel into them, work out whether or not you resonate with each other…then decided whether or not you want to pursue the relationship any further. From here you may call the person again, see them again, talk, go out..basically get to know each other on a deeper level each time. It is the same with hearing a piece of music for the first time. You may listen to it in the car, as you go for a walk, you may dance to it with your lover, you may use it to soothe your baby to sleep and the list could go on and on. In both situations you will be deepening the relationship and creating new memories connected to the music or person each time. Then, in twenty years time when you bump into the person or now friend again, your whole being remembers what you had together as if it happened yesturday. This is the same as if you hear that piece of music again…the memories you created together come flooding back and you experience the same feelings as what you did twenty years earlier. For example, the other day I was showing my kids who Kylie Minogue is on utube and I heard “I Should Be So Lucky” for the first time in 20 + years! In those days (I find it hard to admit) I went through a Kylie Minogue phase, so hearing this music again bought tears to my eyes… It bought me straight back into my family home with those young teenager feelings… No wonder elderly people light up when they hear songs they used to dance to with their friends and lovers in the “good old days”. Music takes us straight back. So remember this as you sing or listen to the same song over and over and over again as you put your baby to sleep or keep your toddler happy in the car… One day you will hear this music again and all the lovely memories and feelings will come flooding back…and you may also shed a few tears.
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 The Crystal Singing Bowl is a sacred sound tool that is similar to the ancient Tibetan singing bowls. They are made from 99% quartz crystal and the sound they make is pure and resonant. They come in a variety of different sizes creating high and low pitched sounds. These bowls are normally used for "sound baths" (I call my sound bath's "Sound Nutrition Sessions" just to be different!) which assist people in becoming more relaxed and energised. They are now being used at home and hospital births by SoundBirth Practitioners and / or the birthing woman’s partner. Here are some of the benefits of choosing to use a crystal singing bowl at your birth.
So get out your birth plan now and add: "I want the crystal singing bowl to be played by my partner or SoundBirth Practitioner throughout each and every contraction."   Types of Routines
I have always cringed when people used to ask me after I’d had a baby, “Have you found a routine yet?” I used to wonder, “Are you talking about a routine that I have imposed on the baby or a natural routine where I am following the baby’s rhythm?” Hmm… I was never one for rigid bedtime or feeding routines for a number of reasons but mainly because it just didn’t feel right. I believe and I have experienced for myself four times now that baby’s find their own natural rhythm just like any baby animal does. I learnt to let go and trust that my babies would let me know when they were hungry or tired and as they let me know I learnt to meet their needs quickly and from a loving space. Every family finds their own way through parenting and uses “routine” in different ways to different degrees. Whatever works for both parents and baby is the best. By the way, you know if it is best for baby if the s/he is content, peaceful, happy most of the time. If the baby is crying it is an indication that you, the parent needs to try something different or the baby is experiencing physical discomfort. Musical Magic! So how does music fit into all of this? Like I said, I never forced my kids to go to sleep or feed at certain times or play happily on their tummies for 20 mins a day…but I did use music as a tool to help them move into sleep or stay playing for longer periods so I could make dinner or wash the dishes. Every time they heard the “sleep” music they would associate this with mummy, boobies, warm, cozy, rocking, feeling relaxed…sleep! Whenever we did a nappy change I sang “Der Glumph went the little green frog one day” and they would smile and most importantly let me change their nappy without screaming their head off!. When they were playing on the mat I would put on “Mozart for Babies” by Don Campbell and they would play contently for a much longer period than if there was no music. The best example was when my last daughter screamed in the car I would put on her “sleeping” music and she would stop crying immediately and sometimes fall asleep! I wasn’t holding her and she couldn’t see me but the familiar music was enough to trigger those feelings of being safe and secure and sleepy…and she would settle down. The “Music Method” ANYONE can use music in this way as a tool to assist in finding that natural rhythm in your lives together. This “method” doesn’t involve crying babies, feelings of guilt or stress when babies aren’t doing what you think they “should” be doing…all it involves is playing a piece of music or singing a song as you flow through your daily activities. It’s free, it’s nurturing, it makes YOU feel good and is a way of building a connected loving relationship with your child. However you choose to do the “routine” thing in your family, music will assist you and you baby to move through your daily lives with more grace and ease. Types of Music Here are some more ideas of when you can use music to assist with routines: Bath music, go to sleep music, car music, nappy change music, playing music, cleaning-up music (older kids), feeding music. I’d love to hear when you have used music in your families and how it has served you. How do you sneeze? What sounds do you make when you sneeze, yawn, stub your toe, cry, laugh, scream with anger? Do you express these sounds differently depending on who is in your presence? For example your kids, your mother-in-law, your best friend, your co-workers, a group of strangers, your lover. How do you censor these sounds? Why do you censor them? What thoughts in your head are telling you to be quiet, to hide, to be small, to squash down your life-force energy, to basically lie! Find Your Authentic Voice The first time I deeply realised how much I had been squashing down my True Self for most of my life was at a life transforming workshop called Realtime Speaking with Robert Rabbin. I cried and cried for the entire two days. I couldn’t believe how afraid I was to say my truth, to speak up, to be authentic in front of the seven other participants. I cried for all of the parts of myself I had disowned in fear that I would be rejected if I let others see them. I cried for all the people who have also been squashing down their aliveness for so long just to fit in, be accepted, be “loved”. I knew I had to let go and reveal myself to feel free yet I was afraid …and still am sometimes. Why? Because if I revealed my real voice, my actual thoughts and feelings, what if people stop liking me? What if they don’t accept me? What if I am laughed at? Ridiculed? I would be alone. This was the fear. But the other option of staying the same, of holding back my truth, of staying stuck was MORE painful and just not an option anymore. It was time to change and I was ready to take the plunge. “We all have a true voice within us, a fiery fearless voice that tells us how to live fully and authentically. Finding our true voice and choosing to speak with that voice brings us to a state of grace.” Play with Life Since then I have been seeing life more as a playground which has given me permission to not take life so seriously and definitely not to take anyone else’s opinions of me seriously. What is more important now is how I move and express myself in each and every moment. Is what I say and do in alignment with ME or is what I say and do in alignment with my kids, my friends, my husband, mother, society? I have found that when I live from this authentic place life flows beautifully…without the dramas, the frustrations, resentments, the PAIN! Powerful and Natural Pain Relief How is this related to birth? Well, if you are censoring your sound in any way for any reason during those contractions you are creating tension in your body somewhere. Sound unexpressed is repression. This holding back will cause more pain. “Sound releases pain from the body. Silence locks energy into the body” Wayne Perry This is why toning is such a beneficial pain relief tool during labour. It is a focused and gentle way of releasing sound and therefore pain. It is also a powerful way to start expressing your true sound your true authentic Self. It is only when you are being authentic that you feel truly alive and free. Giving birth is no time to hold back anything! It is time to let go of any old beliefs that hold you back and enjoy the ride. What an awesome opportunity to birth not only your baby but your Self! Birth is a time for transformation on so many levels. Enjoy! Be Naked! Be real! Be fully alive!
Here are 3 tips to expressing your sounds FULLY during your labour:
How do you sneeze? What sounds do you make when you sneeze, yawn, stub your toe, cry, laugh, scream with anger? Do you express these sounds differently depending on who is in your presence? For example your kids, your mother-in-law, your best friend, your co-workers, a group of strangers, your lover. How do you censor these sounds? Why do you censor them? What thoughts in your head are telling you to be quiet, to hide, to be small, to squash down your life-force energy, to basically lie! Find Your Authentic Voice The first time I deeply realised how much I had been squashing down my True Self for most of my life was at a life transforming workshop called Realtime Speaking with Robert Rabbin in 2007. I cried and cried for the entire two days. I couldn’t believe how afraid I was to say my truth, to speak up, to be authentic in front of the seven other participants. I cried for all of the parts of myself I had disowned in fear that I would be rejected if I let others see them. I cried for all the people who have also been squashing down their aliveness for so long just to fit in, be accepted, be “loved”. I knew I had to let go and reveal myself to feel free yet I was afraid …and still am sometimes. Why? Because if I revealed my real voice, my actual thoughts and feelings, what if people stop liking me? What if they don’t accept me? What if I am laughed at? Ridiculed? I would be alone. This was the fear. But the other option of staying the same, of holding back my truth, of staying stuck was MORE painful and just not an option anymore. It was time to change and I was ready to take the plunge. “We all have a true voice within us, a fiery fearless voice that tells us how to live fully and authentically. Finding our true voice and choosing to speak with that voice brings us to a state of grace.” Play with Life Since then I have been seeing life more as a playground which has given me permission to not take life so seriously and definitely not to take anyone else’s opinions of me seriously. What is more important now is how I move and express myself in each and every moment. Is what I say and do in alignment with ME or is what I say and do in alignment with my kids, my friends, my husband, mother, society? I have found that when I live from this authentic place life flows beautifully…without the dramas, the frustrations, resentments, the PAIN! Powerful and Natural Pain Relief How is this related to birth? Well, if you are censoring your sound in any way for any reason during those contractions you are creating tension in your body somewhere. Sound unexpressed is repression. This holding back will cause more pain. “Sound releases pain from the body. Silence locks energy into the body” Wayne Perry This is why toning is such a beneficial pain relief tool during labour. It is a focused and gentle way of releasing sound and therefore pain. It is also a powerful way to start expressing your true sound your true authentic Self. It is only when you are being authentic that you feel truly alive and free. Giving birth is no time to hold back anything! It is time to let go of any old beliefs that hold you back and enjoy the ride. What an awesome opportunity to birth not only your baby but your Self! Birth is a time for transformation on so many levels. Enjoy! Be Naked! Be real! Be fully alive!
Here are 3 tips to expressing your sounds FULLY during your labour:
 Me, my Dad and my baby sister My Dad’s Heart Songs My Dad made up a song for me when I was three called “The Mushroom Song” after we went picking mushrooms in someone’s cow paddock in the country. This song is so meaningful to me not because of the lyrics or the tune but because I know that my Dad chose to spend that moment in time thinking about me. Because of this those moments have been captured in a song that speaks to my heart every time I have heard him sing it to me… I know that even when I am 80 this song will bring tears to my eyes and remind me of the soft, caring, loving part of my Dad. My Heart Songs I have made up several songs for my babies…some funny and some to soothe them to sleep… My two year old will demand that I sing her special song as I feed her to sleep every time. When I sing the funny song called “Boobies are the best” I have to sing it several times of course. I know that these songs are already meaningful to her and if I continue to sing them, they will stay in her heart forever.  My little Kira having her Boobies Heart Songs in Uganda A similar story about how a song has the power to resonate feelings of love for a lifetime is from Don Campbell’s book Mozart Effect for Children. He writes about a tribe in Uganda where a woman when first “conceives” of the idea of having a baby with a particular father in mind goes off by herself and listens for the song of the child. Once she has heard the song she returns to the tribe and teaches the song to her lover so they can sing it together as they make love. They invite the child to join them. After the child is conceived, the mother sings it to the baby in her womb, then she teaches it to the old women and midwives of the village so that throughout the labour and at the miraculous moment of birth, the child is greeted with its song. After the birth all the villagers learn the song of their new member and sing it to the child when it falls or hurts itself. It is sung in times of triumph and in ritual and initiations. The song can become part of the marriage ceremony when the child is grown, and at the end of life, his or her loved ones will gather around the deathbed and sing this song for the last time. Create Your Own Heart Song
I LOVE this story and will definitely do this is I ever choose to bring another baby into the world (did I say that?). In the meantime I would love to support other women in creating their own heart songs or “Family Lullabies” or even songs about a moment in time they experienced together as in my “Mushroom Song”. These songs are not only sacred but also an effective tool that can be used to soothe and reassure your child when they are tired, when they hurt themselves, when they feel insecure and when YOU feel you need to connect with them again. Singing a funny song you have made up is also a FUN thing to do to lighten up your family when things start to get stressful! I have done this many times! Anyone can do this by the way whether you believe you are musical or not! If you feel drawn to creating a Family Lullaby before conception to bring your baby to you, during pregnancy or after your child has been born Soundbirth will assist you in this process. Together we can create the song that will stay in your hearts forever! I will leave you now with a few songs I made up recently. Ruby's Lullaby Boobies are the Best! The Boobie Blues When you play your crystal singing bowl for whatever reason, you want it to be “crystal clear” to give you the “crystal clear” sound and results you are looking for.
How can a bit of dirt or dust effect the sound vibrations? Everything in the universe is in a state of vibration. Sound is the vibrations we can actually hear (between 20Hz – 20 000Hz). Everything we can’t hear ( a stone, a flower or a speck of dust) is still vibrating but out of our hearing range. Think about when you walk into an old, desserted house full of spider webs and dust…imagine the vibrations coming out of there…”bad vibes”…then compare this to a house full of things that a person cares for, has personally chosen with love, appreciates and is clean and light! ”Good vibes”. You can’t hear the difference yet you can definately percieve it with your whole being. This isn’t rocket science, it’s about being human. Everyone can tell the difference between good and bad vibes! Back to the dirty crystal bowl. So, do you want “dust vibes” emanating from your bowl to your body, your house, your family? Remember that when you play the bowl you amplify those vibrations creating more “dusty vibes”. NO THANKS! When you receive your bowl it would have been handled by people (more vibrations) and packaging material, so it is a good idea to give it a good clean, cleanse and charge before using it for healing, manifesting and labouring! CLEAN Pour distilled water (or filtered) in a bowl with some biodegradable, mild dish washing liquid. Use a soft toothbrush or soft brush and scrub the granular surface on the outside. A soft cloth is fine for the smooth surface on the inside. Rinse the bowl thoroughly and carefully with the water. Dry with a hair dryer or gently place outside in the sun to dry. CLEANSE Any crystalline structures (including our bodies) can absorb and release energy. It is important therefore to cleanse the bowl of any negative energy it may have absorbed along the way so that you don’t absorb it when it is played. Ted Andrews writes about this in “Crystal Balls, Crystal Bowls”. You can do this by placing it in a bath full of sea-salt which draws out any negative energy. You could go in the bath with it if there is enough room! Frankincense insense vibrates at a high frequency (remember…EVERYTHING VIBRATES – this is NOT a hippy thing…it is science!) so will clear any lower frequencies that are lurking! Just burn it around the bowl for a while. CHARGE Place the bowl outside under a full moon – beautifull! Or place it in the sun for a few days. This will re-energise your bowl which in turn re-energises you when played! I would recommend doing the cleaning, cleansing and charging when you first receive the bowl. This will also help you to feel a connection with it. Then do this again before the birth. After this once every few months would be sufficient! ENJOY playing your nice clean bowl!! Feel the difference!! You have bought a beautiful crystal singing bowl. You play it, feel it’s vibrations, admire it’s aesthetics….now what? What else can I do with this bowl you may be asking… Besides using it to support you during labour here are some other activities you can do with them on a daily basis… 1. Purify your Water A water crystal after being exposed to the words “Love and Gratitude” Clean your bowl. Pour drinking water inside the bowl. Play the bowl thinking, or even better, saying out loud, “LOVE and GRATITUDE”. This will charge, purify and change the crystalline structure of the water. This link shows you how intention affects water as found by Masaru Emoto. This link shows you what happens to the water when playing a Tibetan singing bowl. The patterns on the water made by the vibrations are awesome! Imagine what this is doing to your body that is made up of 70% water! When you do this with your bowl, place your finger inside the bowl…it tickles! The kids will love this! 2. Bless your Food Play the bowl before a meal after saying something like “Thank you for the food we are about to eat”. What a beautiful way to say “Grace”. Plus if the vibrations charge water, they would also be charging your food as it is made up of mostly water (especially if it’s raw!). You will be buzzing with happy energy after every meal! 3. Create an Awesome Day Play your bowl in the morning when you wake up. You can manifest what you would like to happen in your day by saying for example, “Thank you for the supportive people that are constantly flowing into my life “. Say it as thought it has already happened. Toning the sounds “EE, AH, OH, AYE” as from Jonathon Goldman’s book “The Divine Name” as you play the bowl is very powerful. I do this most days and have noticed a difference every time! 4. Cleanse your Home Play the bowl in each room of your house to dispel any negative energy. Just play it with the intention of Love and Gratitude or any other positive words you would like to think about. Vocalising is always more effective than just thinking. So, say the words or sing the words while you play. Feel the room fill up with love and light. Your house will be buzzing with life after this. 5. Manifest your Heart’s Desires Jonathon Goldman, a sound therapist and author has found that: Visualisation + Vocalisation = Manifestation Therefore if you sit down everyday with your bowl, think about what you desire in your life (new car, amazing health, peaceful family, to know your purpose etc ) or think about what you are already grateful for and then tone as you play the bowl this will have an awesome affect on your life.
As we are all made up of vibrations, any thoughts and feelings (which are also vibrations) and sound (vibration) are going to powerfully be sent out into the universe (vibration) and come back to you like a boomerang!!! So be careful for what you ask for…it could come to you and sooner than what you expect!!! Enjoy playing with your bowl. Remember this is a sacred sound tool. Always be in a peaceful and mindful space before playing your bowl. Be aware of how your life starts to change as you bring this powerful, manifesting and energising tool into your life!  Your baby was musical before he/she was even born…so were you! Here are some tips on how to nurture their natural musical gifts.
1. Acknowledge their natural musicality Notice and imitate your baby and toddler’s sounds. If they babble, you babble back. If they bang a box with their hands squealing with delight, copy them. If they bop up and down to music, bop with them! If they want to spend time blowing raspberries on you belly – let them! Entering their sound world encourages them to express themselves, which naturally leads to speaking, singing and playing instruments. 2. Sing! Sing to your baby before they are born. Sing them to sleep after they are born. As they become more aware of things around them, like the moon, the dog, the cat, bananas, flowers and so on, sing nursery rhymes or made up songs about them. Sing for your own enjoyment in the kitchen, in the car, in the shower. Let them see YOU singing and loving it! 3. Dance! When you play your favourite music place your baby in your sling if you have one or carry him/her on your hip and GO FOR IT! Your baby will love the movement combined with the rhythms they can hear. Dancing is fun and energising and therefore a beautiful way to bond with your child. If you are feeling tired, overwhelmed, depressed or frustrated this is the perfect time to get up and dance. You and your baby will experience directly the power of music as you transform into a more present, happier state of being. 4. Play an Instrument Choose a simple instrument such as a drum, ukulele, Gasong Drum, native american flute. dream harp or crystal singing bowl. These are ALL easy to play and great ways to express yourself musically. If you want to go a step further learn the piano – I always recommend the Simply Music program – or another instrument you may have always wanted to play. It’s NEVER too late to learn! This will have a profound impact on your child’s musical confidence as they will see YOU expressing yourself musically. Playing music will then be “normal” in their mind. By the way, there is no need to be a concert pianist or expert drummer…all that is necessary is that you play an instrument for the sheer enjoyment of creating music! 5. Listen to Music Listen to music in the kitchen as you cook, in the loungeroom to relax, when you are putting baby to sleep, in the car. Vary the music so your child has the experience of hearing the smorgesbord of music that has been created in this world so far – classical, rock, blues, indian, country and western, new age… Make sure it is music YOU enjoy. At the same time notice what reactions your baby has to the different music. What do they like? If they are content and happy they like it. If they start to squirm and cry try something different. The main idea is that listening to music is a part of your daily life. When YOU enjoy singing, dancing, playing and listening to music your baby will naturally grow into a child and adult who uses music to express themselves and enrich their everyday lives.  Nicole singing to Ruby SoundBirth is about “Singing Your Baby to You” before, during and after the birth on ALL levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. I believe that the most important part of our job as a Mother is to build and maintain an emotional connection with your child. The more connected or “attached” you are the more you are able to “read” and meet the everchanging needs of your growing child. This leads to a happy and content baby and a fulfilling mothering experience. Dr Sears describes this connection beautifully when he writes, Attachment means that a mother and baby are in harmony with each other. Being in harmony with your baby is one of the most fulfilling feelings a mother can ever hope to have. Watch a mother and baby who are attached (in harmony) with each other. When the baby gives a cue, such as crying or facial expressions, signifying a need, the mother, because she is open to the baby’s cues, responds. Using music and sound during pregnancy, birth and on your parenting journey are powerful tools to use to build the bond that both you and your baby need. Sing Your Baby to You During Pregnancy Dr Tomatis found in his research about sound and babies in utero that they can hear their mothers voice from four and a half months before they are born. Singing combined with being aware that your baby can hear you is a beautiful way to connect during pregnancy. You can sing in the shower, sing in the car, sing in the kitchen and sing in the garden. The more you sing the better you feel and the more familiar your voice will become to your baby. Making up your own words about how you feel towards your baby or about the dreams you have after s/he is born can make the song you sing even more powerful and connecting. It may even bring tears of joy to your eyes as you sing. The song you make up may also be a great sound tool you will use to connect for many years to come.  Nicole pregnant with Ruby. Just for Kids Photography Sing Your Baby to You During Labour Singing or toning during labour assists to bring your baby from his/her cozy little space inside you into your loving arms. There are many benefits of toning during labour such as giving more oxygen to you and baby as you take fuller breaths; the vibration of the sound relaxes and energises you; the sound of your voice combined with the sound of the crystal bowl help you to focus and put you in the “zone”; and it helps you to express and release pain. All of these assist you in riding the waves of your contractions, staying present and strong so you can birth your baby the way your body already knows how.  Nicole toning during labour Sing Your Baby to You After the Birth You have birthed your baby. The umbilical cord is cut. Now s/he is in your arms sometimes content and other times crying and unsettled. After trying to meet all of his/her needs (feeding, changing, making them comfortable etc) I have found that the next best cure for an unsettled baby is movement and hearing the familiar sound of your voice.  Nicole after Ruby was born Nothing is as pleasingly stimulating to your baby’s brand new ears and growing neuronal network as your own voice – no matter what your friends and relatives think of it! So sing your “Heart Song” or another song you may have sung during pregnancy. You could also make up a chant as you pace with your baby or feed your baby. Or choose gentle music that you can sing along with. I have found that putting on the same music track every time I was trying to settle my baby and singing along too helped as the baby soon recognised the song and connected it to being settled or sleeping. I also used the same song in the car when baby was crying or trying to sleep. It has now become their special song that brings me straight back to when they were a baby.
Remember that YOUR VOICE is the most soothing, powerful, beautiful, simple and nurturing way to connect with your child no matter how young or old they are. Singing will create an invisible cord of connection between your souls that will last forever! SING SING SING! |
AuthorNicole Lloyd B(Mus) is a mother of four girls and creator of SoundBirth. Here she shares her experiences using sound before, during and after the birth and anything else about sound or birth that she feels like writing about! 
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