BEFORE I CLAIMED ANY SPACE
14 years ago I was a bit of a lost soul … I had just quit university, I didn’t have a job, I didn’t like where I was living, and I didn’t have a sense of what was next in my life.
I met this guy called Steve at a personal development–type workshop and was invited to stay at his new house in the hills as a border/cleaning lady until I worked out what to do next. After I eventually said yes I bravely jumped into his car and he drove me to his house in the hills.
I was kind of expecting a wooden house with floorboards and a cozy fire or something … the kind of house I would expect to live in if I built a house in the hills. But it was one of those new modern houses. It was BIG. Tiles. Marble kitchen bench. NEW. The furniture was very bachelor-like and way too formal for me. There were no paintings on the walls. I wasn’t used to big and new. This was Steve’s house for sure.
CLAIMING MY SPACE ... BIT BY BIT
14 years later and I am STILL here in the house in the hills! Married to Steve with 4 daughters and a dog. How did that happen!!! Anyway… I am STILL claiming my space! I never felt at home in this house. I never felt like it was mine too … even after being married and having what sometimes seems like 100 children! But now I ALMOST feel at home. How have I done this? Here are some of the ways I have made Steve’s house feel like mine too:
There are still more physical things I want to do with this house like rip out the carpets and put wooden floor boards in and put a fireplace somewhere to keep the house warm and cozy and build a “sound nutrition” room upstairs just for me and my bowls! But everything takes time and money…right? Bit by bit. Doing the physical stuff has really made a difference.
But the physical stuff you can SEE isn't EVERYTHING!!!
THE MORE EFFICIENT WAY TO CLAIM MY SPACE!
I have recently experienced a simple yet powerful way I can claim my space without having to buy furniture or add fireplaces or wait for 14 years! It actually only takes a few seconds to transform a room/house into a space that feels like MINE. That nurtures me. That makes me feel safe and cozy. That makes me feel alive again! And it's almost FREE!
Here's my secret!
I PLAY MUSIC I LOVE TO LISTEN TO!
That’s it! Simple!
I turn off The Wiggles!
I turn off the Top 20!
I turn off the TV!
And I turn on music that I love and have loved in the past.
I choose music:
NICOLE THE DOOR MAT
I have found that over the years of having kids I have listened to The Wiggles and PlaySchool WAY too many times to keep the little ones happy ... and now I let the big kids listen to the top 20 over and over again … but hey … what about me? If you succumb like I have to your kids music choices all the time (or your husband’s music choices for that matter) just to "KEEP THE PEACE" and "NOT ROCK THE BOAT" then see what happens and how you FEEL when you decide to choose music YOU LOVE … and turn it up LOUD! Notice what happens to your space. Notice how you FEEL.
Whether you are outside, in the car, at home, in hospital giving birth MUSIC and quality SOUND is THE tool to transform any space into a sanctuary. Into YOUR space.
DO IT BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Why is it important to claim your space? Because you are a woman. Because you deserve it. Because you are TOTALLY WORTH IT. Because when YOU feel good, everyone around you will benefit! (which is a good point when you are a Mum ... believe me!)
So, what’s your favourite music? Quick … go find it, put it on and turn it up loud!
P.S. And WHO CARES what everyone around you thinks, says or does! They'll cope! They may even enjoy watching you come ALIVE!
Nicole Lloyd B(Mus) is a mother of four girls and creator of SoundBirth. Here she shares her experiences using sound before, during and after the birth and anything else about sound or birth that she feels like writing about!