How do you sneeze?
What sounds do you make when you sneeze, yawn, stub your toe, cry, laugh, scream with anger? Do you express these sounds differently depending on who is in your presence? For example your kids, your mother-in-law, your best friend, your co-workers, a group of strangers, your lover. How do you censor these sounds? Why do you censor them? What thoughts in your head are telling you to be quiet, to hide, to be small, to squash down your life-force energy, to basically lie!
Find Your Authentic Voice
The first time I deeply realised how much I had been squashing down my True Self for most of my life was at a life transforming workshop called Realtime Speaking with Robert Rabbin in 2007. I cried and cried for the entire two days. I couldn’t believe how afraid I was to say my truth, to speak up, to be authentic in front of the seven other participants. I cried for all of the parts of myself I had disowned in fear that I would be rejected if I let others see them. I cried for all the people who have also been squashing down their aliveness for so long just to fit in, be accepted, be “loved”. I knew I had to let go and reveal myself to feel free yet I was afraid …and still am sometimes. Why? Because if I revealed my real voice, my actual thoughts and feelings, what if people stop liking me? What if they don’t accept me? What if I am laughed at? Ridiculed? I would be alone. This was the fear. But the other option of staying the same, of holding back my truth, of staying stuck was MORE painful and just not an option anymore. It was time to change and I was ready to take the plunge.
“We all have a true voice within us, a fiery fearless voice that tells us how to live fully and authentically. Finding our true voice and choosing to speak with that voice brings us to a state of grace.”
Play with Life
Since then I have been seeing life more as a playground which has given me permission to not take life so seriously and definitely not to take anyone else’s opinions of me seriously. What is more important now is how I move and express myself in each and every moment. Is what I say and do in alignment with ME or is what I say and do in alignment with my kids, my friends, my husband, mother, society? I have found that when I live from this authentic place life flows beautifully…without the dramas, the frustrations, resentments, the PAIN!
Powerful and Natural Pain Relief
How is this related to birth? Well, if you are censoring your sound in any way for any reason during those contractions you are creating tension in your body somewhere. Sound unexpressed is repression. This holding back will cause more pain.
“Sound releases pain from the body. Silence locks energy into the body” Wayne Perry
This is why toning is such a beneficial pain relief tool during labour. It is a focused and gentle way of releasing sound and therefore pain. It is also a powerful way to start expressing your true sound your true authentic Self. It is only when you are being authentic that you feel truly alive and free. Giving birth is no time to hold back anything! It is time to let go of any old beliefs that hold you back and enjoy the ride. What an awesome opportunity to birth not only your baby but your Self! Birth is a time for transformation on so many levels. Enjoy! Be Naked! Be real! Be fully alive!
Here are 3 tips to expressing your sounds FULLY during your labour:
My Dad’s Heart Songs
My Dad made up a song for me when I was three called “The Mushroom Song” after we went picking mushrooms in someone’s cow paddock in the country. This song is so meaningful to me not because of the lyrics or the tune but because I know that my Dad chose to spend that moment in time thinking about me. Because of this those moments have been captured in a song that speaks to my heart every time I have heard him sing it to me… I know that even when I am 80 this song will bring tears to my eyes and remind me of the soft, caring, loving part of my Dad.
My Heart Songs
I have made up several songs for my babies…some funny and some to soothe them to sleep… My two year old will demand that I sing her special song as I feed her to sleep every time. When I sing the funny song called “Boobies are the best” I have to sing it several times of course. I know that these songs are already meaningful to her and if I continue to sing them, they will stay in her heart forever.
Heart Songs in Uganda
A similar story about how a song has the power to resonate feelings of love for a lifetime is from Don Campbell’s book Mozart Effect for Children. He writes about a tribe in Uganda where a woman when first “conceives” of the idea of having a baby with a particular father in mind goes off by herself and listens for the song of the child. Once she has heard the song she returns to the tribe and teaches the song to her lover so they can sing it together as they make love. They invite the child to join them. After the child is conceived, the mother sings it to the baby in her womb, then she teaches it to the old women and midwives of the village so that throughout the labour and at the miraculous moment of birth, the child is greeted with its song. After the birth all the villagers learn the song of their new member and sing it to the child when it falls or hurts itself. It is sung in times of triumph and in ritual and initiations. The song can become part of the marriage ceremony when the child is grown, and at the end of life, his or her loved ones will gather around the deathbed and sing this song for the last time.
Create Your Own Heart Song
I LOVE this story and will definitely do this is I ever choose to bring another baby into the world (did I say that?). In the meantime I would love to support other women in creating their own heart songs or “Family Lullabies” or even songs about a moment in time they experienced together as in my “Mushroom Song”. These songs are not only sacred but also an effective tool that can be used to soothe and reassure your child when they are tired, when they hurt themselves, when they feel insecure and when YOU feel you need to connect with them again. Singing a funny song you have made up is also a FUN thing to do to lighten up your family when things start to get stressful! I have done this many times!
Anyone can do this by the way whether you believe you are musical or not! If you feel drawn to creating a Family Lullaby before conception to bring your baby to you, during pregnancy or after your child has been born Soundbirth will assist you in this process. Together we can create the song that will stay in your hearts forever!
I will leave you now with a few songs I made up recently.
Boobies are the Best!
The Boobie Blues
Nicole Lloyd B(Mus) is a mother of four girls and creator of SoundBirth. Here she shares her experiences using sound before, during and after the birth and anything else about sound or birth that she feels like writing about!