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I get it. Not EVERYONE is going to want to have a SoundBirth! We are ALL different. Different thoughts, desires, experiences, partners. Plus it takes courage to do something different! Not many people (yet) have taken a crystal singing bowl into a birthing suite and had their husband play it for hours and hours... (yes this has actually happened in several Perth hospitals so far!). Trying to get your husband to rub your back a certain way and say the "right" things during labour is hard enough than trying to get them to play a crystal singing bowl in the hospital room! No one wants to look like a crazy person right?!?
So here is a list so that you can see for yourself if you are a SoundBirth-type person or not! SoundBirth is not for:
There you go! If you don't feel drawn by your heart strings to something then don't do it I always say! But if something is making you feel curious at first and then overcome with joy... then going for it is probably the way to go! Whatever you choose make sure it is a choice YOU have made from YOUR heart...you never know...it could even be your baby whispering to you...so listen carefully!
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SoundBirth for Expectant Couples So you have heard about SoundBirth and now you are wondering if SoundBirth is for you! Here is a list of 10 reasons for having a SoundBirth and then I will leave it up to you to decide if this is for you or not! 1. You want with ALL of your heart to experience a NATURAL BIRTH. 2. You would like to feel EMPOWERED before, during and after the birth. 3. You feel anxious about how you will manage the pain...without drugs! 4. You have had a previous traumatic birth experience and would like to feel supported and soothed this time round. 5. You may feel embarrassed about making strange noises during labour. 6. You would like your partner to be involved in the birth experience as much as possible. 7. You would like to feel CONNECTED to your partner throughout the birth. 8. You would like to create a scared space where you are birthing whether you are at home or in hospital. 9. You want a tool to support you that will help you stay calm, relaxed and open throughout the birth. 10. You want to create beautiful birthing memories no matter what the outcome. I hope that helps! Want to get started? Contact Nicole So you have just received your beautiful Koshi Chimes and now you are wondering where to hang them and what you can do with them! Here are some of the ways I have used my chimes and ways I have heard other people using theirs over the years...
There you go! Some quick and simple ways to use your chimes! I hope this helps in some way. Please share with me where you have chosen to hang your chimes and how you have used them in your life! The kids are screaming, the dog is barking, the washing machine is spinning, the dishwasher is humming, the TV is on, the ipad is beeping and I feel myself getting more and more irritated as I try to put my tired baby back to sleep for the fifth time today… I start thinking thoughts like:
I start reciting the Serenity Prayer…"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." And here is what God and I came up with: 1. If possible…STOP THE SOUND!
And there you have it! Silence! Well, relative silence! Notice how you can now relax more, breathe more deeply, hear yourself think a little straighter… 2. MASK THE SOUND If you can’t get rid of the kids or TV won’t turn off…try masking the irritating sound by:
3. IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM JOIN ‘EM!! The kids are banging saucepans… The kids are singing the same song over and over and over again… The lawnmower is going for it next door… The dog is barking (again)… The 3 year old is winging… The kids are laughing and being super silly in the back of the car… You know…the typical sounds you hear in your everyday life as a mother… If you can’t stop or mask the noise for whatever reason here’s what you can do! JOIN IN! Make that crazy sound that is driving you nuts! Use your voice and copy the annoying sound you hear! Go on! GO FOR IT!
Not only will you feel better but your kids (who are just being kids after all) haven’t been shamed again for expressing themselves. 4. The Ultimate Solution – BECOME TRANSPARENT If you can’t stop the sound, mask the sound, or make a sound, what a great opportunity you now have to practice transparency! Eckhart Tolle writes in The Power of Now, “Feel yourself become transparent, as it were, without the solidity of a material body. Now allow the noise to pass right through you. It is no longer hitting a solid “wall” inside you. Practice with little things first. The car alarm, the dog barking (a good one for me!!), the children screaming (another good one for me!!). Instead of having a wall of resistance inside you that gets constantly and painfully hit by things that “should not be happening” let everything pass through you.” Similar to number 3 but you don’t have to laugh your head off or be a lawnmower which doesn’t work too well if you happen to be in a public place! This exercise is a great spiritual practice. Put a Zen monk in a room full of screaming kids and see how enlightened he really is! Mothers are SO privileged in this way. We don’t need to meditate for hours (we can’t anyway!)…all we need is to learn to be present with ‘what is’ whether that is hearing kids playing, wiping babies bottoms, cleaning up spew, feeding baby in the middle of the night…again, pushing the 2 year old on the swing for half an hour, preparing the tenth meal for the day etc etc…
Practice being transparent with sound as it presents itself in each moment and you’ll reach “enlightenment” in no time!! So, there you go! My 4 cents worth on coping with our sometimes incredibly noisy world! Try these out and please share with me your experiences! Let me know if you find other ways to cope with those sounds that “grate” on you! Have fun!! Shana Wright Photography "Wow, I am so happy that I did the step on searching for crystal bowls during labor, and even happier that I had found you, even though you live on the other side of the world! On October 1st 2013 I came from work and my children brought me a small box and at first I didn’t know what it was until I looked at the return address and it said Australia! Your CD had arrived! I did my routine duties (as my youngest calls it lol). Got the children to bed, ate, and did one of my Statistics assignment. While actually still working on the assignment, my water broke. That was at 10pm. I let my Midwife (Liz) know and she said to get rest, but instead I started cleaning and listened to the CD. Went to bed at 1am, slept till 5:50pm and woke up with some mild contractions. Liz came by to check on me and the baby. Contractions had stopped; I did some errands, made a cake and some food for Midwife, Doula and the others for the long labor ahead. I contacted Shar (my friend who plays the crystal singing bowls) to let her know today is the day and that I will let her know to come over once it is closer. I was afraid that it might not work out, since we were supposed to meet on the 4th for some SoundBirth practice. At 1pm my contractions were anywhere between 10 and 15 minutes apart, lasting about 45 seconds. Midwife came at 3pm and decided to stay, I was able to do things around the house and stop while having a contraction. My back started to hurt and the birth ball was so uncomfortable that I decided to get into the birth pool at 5:55pm (great number), contractions were stronger as well. By this time, my doula and Shar have arrived as well. Shar set her bowls up near the birthing pool. I sat down inside the pool, feeling a little scared, having people surround the pool, and look at me. But I felt at ease since they were all woman. But what I decided to do was that I sat on that raised part and the pool, had my legs spread apart and relaxed my whole body and closed my eyes. Shar started as well with her crystal bowls and I know from past experiences that crystal bowl meditation is one of my favourite mediations. I sat in the pool, meditating for 15 minutes, breathing through my contractions, and listening to the bowls. It was so helpful, having the bowls there, I truly believe they helped me in opening up and relaxing like I’ve never relaxed before.Sitting there for 15 mintues, I felt a shift, I knew something changed. I went on all fours, then held on to the side of the pool and I knew this was it… the peak of labor. At one point I wanted to yell out “I can’t do it!”, but I remembered the toning so just let out a deep moan and then again during the next contraction. Then I felt the babies head come out! I waited one more contraction and she was born at 6:20pm. I truly believe that playing the crystal bowls had made a change, (especially her playing the sacral one). Since I had a traumatizing childhood I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to let go of the past and I didn’t want to tense up during my first home birth. It was truly amazing! We also did not know the gender, so it made it even more precious after we found out she was a GIRL. Now, as for my husband and children (all boys). He was the runner and he wanted us woman to be in peace, so he was watching the boys and helped the Midwife get some things she needed, while I was in the pool. I felt like I was in a tribe, with all woman and the bowls . Sandra Golaszewski, Texas Mother of 4 My First SoundBirth My first SoundBirth was one of those “ecstatic” births. At home. Floating in water. Making beautiful toning sounds with the sound of a crystal singing bowl…until the end of course when I let out my usual primal scream! It was a much shorter birth than the previous two, also at home in water. I put it all down to the use of my voice and crystal bowl…and decided to share these awesome tools with the world…hence “SoundBirth – Sing Your Baby to You” was born. My Second SoundBirth Seven days ago my second “SoundBirth” (fourth homebirth) began early Friday morning. During the day I hung out with my sisters, went for a walk, felt excited about everything starting to finally happen! Not much “toning” happened until the contractions became more intense later that night. It was then that I asked my older girls (aged 10 and 8) Mum and my sister to start taking turns playing the bowl during each contraction. I hummed gently and made a few Oh and Ahh sounds. Once again the sounds of my voice together with the bowl spun me out as it did during my last labour. Whenever I went slightly off-pitch to the bowl I heard my favourite “Wah wah wah” sound….something you really need to experience yourself to understand. These were my “early labour” sounds. Performance Anxiety Everything slowed down early Saturday morning after the midwife arrived and kids and husband emerged from their sleep. I was tired from not being able to sleep all night which could have been the reason why. I also felt my normal “performance anxiety” issues arise. I didn’t like the fact that I was not in control of when my next contraction would come…I wanted them to come more regularly, more strong. I was tired and afraid that I wouldn’t be able to cope much longer if things didn’t start moving…and the last thing I wanted was a transfer to hospital… I decided to go into the shower just to get some space from my kids (who were being lovely of course giving me pictures they had drawn, giving me drinks etc…) and people watching me…waiting for me to DO something! I cried my eyes out in there…BIG sobs. I wanted to hide, to be left alone. I didn’t want people worrying about me. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I got out and my midwife Clare reminded me that I can birth in my own time and that my body is tired and just needs a rest. So I lay on the bed with Steve and tried to sleep. No contraction for half an hour! “That’s ridiculous (my inner critic remarked!). I’m getting up and out of here!” The Power of Nature So I went for a walk with Mum around our backyard surrounded by bush. There were ducks in the old dead tree (strange), it was cold, the finches were tweeting and watching, the dog was in the garage so he wouldn’t irritate me! I started having more contractions. This is when my sounds started to become more should I say…”juicy”? and not so pretty…’Oh’ sounds, groaning sounds, sometimes balling my eyes out sounds. It hurt! Really, really hurt AND I was SO tired. Then the sun came out. The beautiful warm, healing sun. The warmth became my hot water bottle on my back. It was SO soothing. I remember thinking, “Wouldn’t it be great if all labouring women could experience this…the sun, the trees, the birds…” Being surrounded by nature reminded me that what I was doing was part of nature. I felt connected to everything and so grateful for the strength and wisdom that nature seemed to bless me with in that moment. I realised I was actually going to have a real baby in my arms very soon…So I balled my eyes out about that… I laboured outside on the veranda for a while. The midwives bought everything outside just in case THIS was the birth spot. The bowl came outside too (giving my hubby something to do). It really made such a big difference when that bowl played. It accompanied my crazy sounds. It switched off the outside world. I could go inwards and express whatever sounds that wanted to come out and when the contraction was over we talked, we joked, we laughed and sometimes I sobbed… Then the sensation came again. The bowl played. I released the pain, the tension, the emotions with my voice and then returned back to my family, midwives, the ground beneath my knees… Too hot outside. Back inside. It’s amazing how ultra aware you become when in labour. I knew what I needed to do or not to do in each moment. And during this labour it seemed to change all the time! Normally I would just be in one room submerged in the warm soothing water in the birth pool. Not this time…I didn’t want to go near the pool. Instead I went from one room to the next like a cat does before giving birth until I found the perfect place – on my bed. This was it. This is where I had decided to put all my energy into pushing my baby out! Liza (my backup midwife) played my largest bowl (18 inch), Clare encouraged me and massaged my bum reminding me to relax (how vulnerable we become in labour!), Mum came in occasionally to see how I was going and giving me rescue remedy, the kids popped their heads in sometimes then went off to play with my amazingly entertaining sister, and Steve stood next to the bed so I could lean on him during each contraction (it took him a week to recover!…poor husband…). I moaned, groaned, screamed, sobbed, winged, toned, made up silly sounds and laughed like a crazy woman…whatever I felt I needed to express, I let out with the sound of the bowl accompanying me. That Bowl! The bowl was amazing. It was the one constant throughout the labour. Clare noticed that it seemed to give me power and strength when played louder so Liza went for it! It was SO loud that I thought the windows might shatter! I said near the end that I can’t wait until it’s quiet! I was sick of hearing myself make so much noise and just wanted some peace!! Clare thought I meant that I don’t want the bowl to be played anymore. So there was one contraction with no bowl and it was awful (it seemed longer and more painful) so I insisted it was played again. It was me I was me I was sick of hearing…not the bowl. The bowl was my life-boat, my safety net, my block of chocolate in the cupboard…and I NEEDED it to keep me going. Screaming my baby to me Not long after my waters broke…SPLASH underneath me! Hooray! What a release that moment was! I think I cried again…knowing what was coming next… And sure enough a few contractions later I had to do the really big ‘poo’ and I screamed my baby’s head out. Thank god for that! The kids came running in to see their new baby’s head sticking out of my “bum” (as my 3 year old says), watching her turn herself before the next contraction and I screamed my baby to me… into my arms. “Is she OK? Is she breathing? Waaaa… Thank goodness…” What a relief when you realise that the birth is almost over (placenta still to come) and your baby is perfect. What a miracle. I sat there sobbing my eyes out…again…in shock, disbelief and relief. I had finally birthed my baby…I had found that massive amount of power I had within and needed to allow my body to open up and give birth. I did it! No one else…just me and my baby…a bowl…and an awesome support team of course! Another girl! Four beautiful girls all born safely and naturally at home. Birth is awesome, a miracle, powerful, painful (sorry…but it is!), a mystery, beautiful…and I am so grateful to have experienced birth in all its glory. Welcome little Ruby to our family. Most women will have at least one loved one attend her labour whether in hospital or at home. Usually the husband/partner will be there, mother, sister or best friend, and sometimes the siblings in a home-birth situation. All of your loved ones LOVE you and no one enjoys seeing a loved one experiencing pain. Also, none of them have probably every seen or heard you experience pain for what could be for several hours… Maybe they have seen / heard you swear your head off for a few minutes after you’ve stubbed your toe, or maybe you have groaned and moaned when sick with the flu, or maybe they have seen you scream and cry if you have ever broken a bone…BUT the sounds of labour are going to be very, very different and will most likely go on for a much longer period of time…becoming more and more intense as the labour progresses. From the research I have done and from my own personal experience, making primal sounds during contractions whether that is moaning, groaning, toning or a combination of the lot, will assist with pain relief, relaxing and opening the cervix and keep the labouring woman in “the zone”…to name a few benefits. So, first of all though, YOU need to give yourself permission and feel comfortable about making such sounds BEFORE the birth and so do the people who you have chosen to have support you (even some birth professionals need a reminder that vocalising is important). If your loved ones aren’t prepared it could bring up anxiety for them (especially if they are the type who want to ‘fix’ everything – most men are like this, and mothers tend to worry). You don’t want an anxious person supporting you and you also don’t want to be suppressing your sounds just because you don’t want to freak out your loved ones!!! Remember that you are using your voice as a pain relief and ‘opening up’ tool to help you birth your baby gently into the world! You really can’t afford to abandon your voice but you CAN prepare your loved ones. Here are some discussion points and exercises you can do with those loved ones who will most likely be present during your labour. Adjust the language of course, according to whether you are talking to your hubby or children… Points for discussion:
5 fun and simple exercises: 1. Stand up. Open your mouth. Stretch your arms…and YAWN. Yawn as loudly as you can. Let the sound out. Yawning is usually contagious so relax (try not to laugh too much) and YAWN your head off! 2. LAUGH! Do “Ha ha ha’s” and “Ho ho ho’s” and He he he’s” “Hu hu hu’s” and a combination of them all. Make high and low, fast and slow sounds ie. Make your laughing interesting! Be creative! And enjoy laughing at each other! Laughing is also extremely contagious! 3. Take a deep breath, open your mouth wide and sigh “Ahhh” several times. Allow yourself to relax as you do this. Release any stress or tension that you may have held in your body through the day. Let it all go! 4. Crawl around on your hands and knees and pretend you are a cow! Kids love this one of course! Even if you are not a kid you will get a kick out of it! Choose some other animal sounds to explore together – monkey, dog, lion, kookaburra, elephant, cat 5. Everyone holds a piece of ice in their hand for 1 minute (the time of a good contraction) without making any sound. Talk about how this felt. Do it again this time making some long “Ahhh” and “Oooo” sounds or just moan and groan… allow whatever sound to be OK. Notice and discuss the difference when it came to coping with the pain. More to discuss:
“Here’s how you can support me to make more sound during labour:
So there you go! Prepare yourself and your loved ones during pregnancy. Learn to LOVE your voice (even just accepting it would be good enough!) and then make the choice to draw on it as an awesome coping tool during labour. If you want to find out how to add the soothing sound of a crystal singing bowl to the Soundbirth equation contact me! nicole@soundbirth.com.au Enjoy making sounds with your loved ones! Let me know how you go! I am now 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I feel physically and emotionally ready now to give birth again for the fourth time! I have set up my birthing space at home. I have my crystal singing bowl in the corner of the room ready to be played by someone throughout every contraction…the sound that will be “holding my hand” and keeping me focused as I vocalise through my labour. I have the birth pool blown up and ready to go. I have the “Feng Shui for birth” kit set up to help with cleansing and bringing the right energy into the room. I have chosen an awesome independent midwife who has made house visits from three months into my pregnancy who I have built a relationship with and who I trust completely if it comes to making any big decisions during the labour, birth and with baby in arms. I have had a Blessingway ceremony, had a beautiful henna design drawn on my belly, had professional photos taken and have completely cleaned and sorted out my “nest”.
Yes I have made many conscious choices and some people may believe that because I have “done this” three times “successfully” already I wouldn’t have any fears and all will be well… MY FEARS Well, they are wrong. I’m only human after all! During this pregnancy I have experienced more fear than any other. Probably because I have read more about birth and heard many more horror birth stories since starting my birthy business, Soundbirth. Because of this I have felt SO grateful and lucky really, to have had three beautiful homebirths in the past but I also feel that if awful things like this can happen to other women then who am I to think that it couldn’t happen to me too! Here are just some of the fears that have sometimes consumed me during this pregnancy! -fear that my baby will die -fear of being transferred to hospital -fear of having to have a c-section and feeling like I have “failed”. -fear that baby will be posteria and the labour too painful and long for me to birth naturally -fear of the pain – especially at the end when I usually feel like I’m going to die -fear of feeling depressed afterwards and not being able to take care of my family because of it -fear of having to deal with sore vagina, haemorrhoids, sore nipples… -fear of being sleep deprived…again! STEPPING INTO THE UNKNOWN! What I have realised is that all of these fears come down to the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN! Because the truth is that all of these things COULD happen AND all of these things MIGHT NOT happen. I don’t know…nobody knows… The reality is that the outcome is completely out of my control!!! And we, especially in our society, are not used to feeling out of control! We want to know the outcome, we want to know how to do it, we want to know everything about everything inside and out before taking action…just in case we fail, feel pain, feel stupid and the list goes on. Giving birth though is one of those peak life experiences (close to being faced with death) that can’t give us these answers which therefore forces us to face these fears and surrender to the moment. Scary stuff for any “normal” human being… EXPRESSING THE FEARS What has helped me during this pregnancy was that I vocalised my fears in front of my midwife, my husband, my children, my Mum, my sister and the friends who came to my Blessingway. Yes, I cried. Yes, I felt vulnerable and shame even for feeling so fearful about things that I “should” feel confident about since a) I have done it three times before and b) I teach women how to cope with pain etc. using sound through my business! What I realised though that after expressing and exploring the fears and tears I was able to release them…It was like the fearful thought needed to turn into a sound (spoken words) so that it became separate from my body and mind. From here I was able to see the fear for what it was (a thought) and see clearly why that thought was scary (something to do with a past experience). Only then was I able to step into the spaciousness of the UNKNOWN…because that was all that was left… The “I don’t know” mind. Scary…but SO freeing! In this space I could take a breath and be present in the moment knowing that all I actually can do is surrender and trust that the birth will unfold as it unfolds and that’s that. If I had held in these fears because I was worried about what others would think of me or if I was afraid that if I voiced them they would come true…I would STILL be holding these fears in my body and mind. I’m sure that like my first two births they would then arise again during labour and birth and afterwards which are really not ideal times to feel be feeling anxious. I want to feel CLEAR before giving birth again. To know that I have looked at all the heavy, all-consuming thoughts and emotions so I can be fully present with my body making space for me to freely birth my baby into the world. I feel I am ready now to face the unknown… to surrender to the awesomeness of giving birth again. Bring it on! For those of you who don’t know me I want you to know that even though I have a musical background… I am NOT an amazing singer. I have never been taught how to sing and I have never had to sing for an audience (thank goodness). I put myself in the category of ”normal person just wanting to sing”.
Why do I want you to know this? Soundbirth’s tagline is “Sing Your Baby To You”…which I have noticed freaks people right out! They might think…”I can’t sing so there’s no point in me doing the Soundbirth thing”. Or “It’s alright for those people who CAN sing”. Or “There’s NO WAY I’m going to sing around my kids! They’ll all runaway!” I have heard these words come out of people’s mouths a number of times now…and I feel sad every time I hear it… Most people these days think that to “be able to sing” means you have to be a singer on stage or on TV. And if you’re not doing that, you are NOT a “singer”. Well stuff that! I believe you are ALL singers! Even my first boyfriend who was “tone deaf” would enjoy singing along with his Metallica albums! So he is also a “singer”! If he can do it so can you! Why? Because:
If you have kids or about to have a baby you really can’t afford to NOT sing. There are SO many benefits that definitely outweigh the limiting beliefs you may have about your voice. Singing:
Try singing out for yourself! Notice what a difference singing makes to your level of happiness, to your energy levels and to your connection with your children by making the choice to sing everyday! Who cares what those around you think of your voice! Their reaction is their problem… (you may even be surprised to find out that they ENJOY hearing you sing!) This is about YOU! It is a nurturing thing to do for yourself…and it’s FREE!!! But you will only find this out if you DO IT. Tips for those who think they can’t sing!
Sing like a bird…and you’ll feel as free as a bird! Recently I have been waking up when the birds start to sing very early in the morning. They sing without fail every single day. Very consistent those birds are! The sun starts to bring light to our backyard and bang! Tweet tweet tweety tweet…they greet the day with their own unique morning song. I listen to the beauty of their song for a while, then fall back to sleep for another few hours…( I am pregnant with 3 kids after all!)
When I do finally wake up in the morning, I sneak off into my room where I keep my crystal singing bowls, sit down next to my 14 inch bowl and gently start to play it. I then start improvising a melody as I tone with the bowl making combinations of Ahh, Ee, Oh, Oo and Aye sounds. It just flows out of me. This morning when I was creating my morning song I felt like a bird greeting the new day. I felt like I was saying “Thank you for the new day and for being alive”. I thought about how I would like my day flow and how I want to feel. I was communicating with the Universe, Great Spirit, God, whatever you want to call it…through sound…which is the invisible connection that we can ALL have with this Greater Source. I realised that all we need to do is to make the conscious choice to plug into Source and that doing this through sound is a very simple, effective and very efficient way! For those who already have a bowl I invite you to start greeting the day with sound. Watch how your day flows beautifully with no drama, no effort as your thoughts start to manifest into reality! Enjoy creating! Coz that’s why you came here! |
AuthorNicole Lloyd B(Mus) is a mother of four girls and creator of SoundBirth. Here she shares her experiences using sound before, during and after the birth and anything else about sound or birth that she feels like writing about! Archives
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